Wild Manther » Wild Manthers

Wild Manthers: Too Hot For TV

Wild Manther — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 12:21:00 +0000

Many thanks to our resourceful colleagues over at Hot Chicks With Douchebags for capturing this rare and emotional moment of pure Manther elation. They deserve a case of the finest courvoisier.

The Manther is a stealthy, proud species, who usually operates in a much more canny and covert manner than is depicted by this photograph. But sometimes the temptation (and the margaritas) overwhelms his defenses, causing a momentary lapse of judgment, and classiness. One can’t help but raise an eyebrow (the left one) at this gratuitous display of Manther prowess. Grab a couple handfuls of that filly’s flanks and hang on Manther! Then hand over the twenty dollars…

Wild Manthers: Captain Erotiki

Wild Manther — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 04:23:00 +0000

How many captain’s hats does it take to harpoon a buxom tuna and drag her onto your houseboat? The answer my friends, is one. And if you happen to be a Greek captain, over the age of 70, with an obscenely large gold pinky ring, you need not even say a word. Notice the wild, frenzied gaze of the young gazelle on the left – is she crazed from too much spanakopita? We all know the answer to that one…she is trembling with anticipation at the thought of touching papa bear’s glistening hairy chest. The captain’s other victim has a blissful, trance-like smile that says: “Visions of Adonis are dancing in my head. One more shot of Ouzo and I’m going to beg to see your Speedo.” OPA!!!

Many kudos to our Malibu Manther Hunters (yes, there are regional chapters) for sharing this treat with us!

Wild Manthers: Modern Soul Manther

Wild Manther — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:46:00 +0000

Wild Manthers: Soul Manthers

Wild Manther — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:19:00 +0000

Shout out to “Sterling” in Mexican Hat, NV, for this amazing footage of wild Soul Manthers!!

Wild Manthers: Menage a Trois

Wild Manther — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:15:00 +0000

We are honored to share this moment with you, Manther. Thanks to a perfect execution of the “bait and switch” hunting technique (notice our decoy in the foreground deftly dodging out of frame), we have captured a magical scenario in which an elegant and sophisticated Manther is getting a two-for-one special. Like bees to the honey, these flaxen-haired and nubile young gazelles are drawn to this Manther’s freshly trimmed beard and St. Tropez tan. Notice how he has positioned himself in front of the Brasserie chalkboard – that is no coincidence. The French words behinds his head infiltrate the prey’s subconscious, pillaging their thoughts in the name of love. With the confident gaze of his steely blue eyes, he has guided them towards each other. First a gentle caress of the arm, then the hair. When the second bottle of Clos D’Hermitage kicks in, this Manther’s night will truly begin.

Wild Manthers: Tracking The Wild Manther

Wild Manther — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:00:00 +0000

We need your photos!

To keep our “Wild Manthers” section swollen with glorious Manthers of all varieties, we need your help. If you spot the elusive Manther in the wild, snap a photo and email it to this address manthershots@gmail.com. Additionally, if you happen to stumble across a Manther den in your area please submit a photo, along with location as well. We will post it and you will reap the glory. The Manther, however, is a dangerous beast and must be treated with respect. Here are some tips for tracking and capturing the wild Manther.

1. Be prepared. Equip yourself with a camera with a quick shutter speed as Manthers are quick and agile. Warning! If you are female and appear to be under the age of 30, Manther hunting can be extremely dangerous. Be alert, be inconspicuous, avoid sudden movement and garb yourself in the frumpiest outfit you own. Manthers have specialized vision and frayed sweaters and loose sweat pants will render you all but invisible to them.

2. Select your hunting grounds. While elusive, Manthers are indigenous to almost every landmass on earth and can be spotted practically anywhere. Case in point, a half-starved Manther was recently spotted lurking outside a Lamaze class. There are, however, several ways to maximize your chances of spotting one. Firstly, it must be mentioned that we are compiling an archive of notorious Manther dens here. More generally, a good rule of thumb is to follow the prey. Seek places wher young females congregate and socialize. The Manther’s most powerful weapon is his display of wealth, so fancy establishments are good hunting grounds. Research also tells us that Manthers are most active at night and prefer dimly lit environments.

3. The moment of truth. If you have followed our advice, chances are you will come face to face with the wild Manther. Do not panic. While relentless when going after prey, Manthers can be very skittish. Slowly postion yourself for the shot and prepare your camera, keeping it carefully out of sight. When it comes to the shot itself, there are two main techniques. The first is a bait and switch. The key is to get the Manther to think you are taking a picture of something else near him, but not him himself. Aim the camera at something of interest near the Manther. If there is nothing plausibly photographable nearby, ask a friend pose off to one side of the beast, but not within striking distance. Pretend to fiddle with the camera settings and watch the Manther closely. Wait until the moment he looks away, then quickly re-aim the camera directly at him and shoot. Technique number two is fraught with danger, yet can be quite thrilling when performed properly. It’s the good old shoot and run. Keep the camera hidden until the very last moment. Be still and concentrate on controlling your breathing. Wait for the perfect moment to catch the Manther off-guard, shoot and vanish into the crowd.

A camera that once belonged to the famed naturalist and pioneering Manther photographer Balltelda Van Hosen. It was recovered amidst the flotsam of Heusebote Canal in Amsterdam and was all that remained after the beautiful young, blonde, Dutch, Balltelda went missing one night in 1881. Sobering evidence of the danger of the Manther.

We wish you godspeed on your hunt and cannot wait to see your pictures!

Wild Manthers: Feathery Pink Clutches

Wild Manther — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:00:00 +0000

Aaaahh, yes…captured amidst the hazy lingerings of a racous hotel ballroom wedding reception, this shot deftly captures the Manther’s feeling of elation as he ropes in his prey. Like a deer in headlights, this young blonde thing is blissfully unaware of the Mack truck of seduction careening in her direction. This particular Manther specimen appears to have reached a maturity level that is borderline “Granther”.

This young filly was most likely enticed by his well-manicured fingernails, warm smile and faint musk of pipe tobacco wafting from his suit. Given this scenario, it’s safe to say that he probably peaked her interest by subtly exposing his diamond and onyx cuff links while shaking it on the dace floor for the perfunctory rendition of “It’s Raining Men” (typical wedding playlists provide ample opportunity for Manthers to display ancient rhythmic routines learned when mere cubs and honed over the intervening decades). 3 vodka and Red Bulls later, she’s climbing into his Aston Martin while the other bridesmaids shoot looks of thinly disguised envy in her direction. Bravo, Granther. Bravo.