by Wild Manther | November 20th, 2008
Karl Lagerfeld and his bear, pontificating the color story for Chanel’s Fall 09 collection.
Sipping on a Campari and soda, and perched on a barstool at Balthazar, you catch a fleeting glimpse of an all-white ponytail. A tall thin man wearing black terminator shades effortlessly skates past the harried hostess into a corner booth that is labeled “Reserved”. He is followed by three Amazonian women with tousled hair, exotic eyes, skinny jeans and size 11 feet. He presses his hands together in front of his mouth, as if he is forming a thought. He doesn’t have to say a word…..the fingerless leather gloves speak silently to the crowd…..Girls and boys alike, bow down.
How do you know when a Manther clearly transitions from Everyday Manther to Notable Manther? When Steiff makes a $1500 teddybear in his likeness. When he is hired by the King of Dubai to put his stamp on the world’s most luxurious shopping island. When he can make fingerless leather gloves look impossibly chic. When he has……a Diet Coke butler.
A little known fact is that Karl Lagerfeld’s feet never actually hit the ground. He was the first infant in Germany to levitate from the womb.
“I get along with everyone except for men my age, who are bourgeois or retired or boring.” Spoken like a true Manther, Karl. So what, you ask, does he consider the opposite of bourgeois, retired, and boring? THIS…
This well-oiled group of Lagerfeld mercenaries are ready to go into battle and eagerly awaiting his commands.
And they fall like flies when he puckers his bulbous German lips. Deeee-vine!!!! Manthers, my friend, come in many varietals. If Hef is an oakey cabernet with tobacco undertones, Karl is a sparkling riesling with a rainbow finish. If Hef is the King of all Manthers, then Karl is the Queen.
He reinvented the house of Chanel, but refuses to be seen wearing it. (“When I wear Chanel, I look like my mother”). He has the energy of 25,000 Turkish elephants. His leather gloves smell
like ninjas. He drinks soda from a goblet. He models reflective safety
vests for charity. The Manther Hall of Fame is lined with portraits of distinguished characters whose unparalleled magnetism rivals that of the earth’s core. Karl Lagerfeld, my friends, deserves his own, beautifully bedazzled room.