Wild Manther

SHABBLAMMMM!!! The sound of the Centurion Card, clubbing the Manther’s prey over her pretty little head with one swift death blow. Figuratively speaking, that is (unless you are a Renegade Manther). This ultimate Manther accessory is silent but violent, holding the world record for “Speed and Effectiveness” in removing female clothing.  It’s the crushing bite to the larynx of the delicate Gazelle.  A Manther could look like Larry King or Hulk Hogan and the Centurion Card will basically guarantee that he will never leave the bar alone. When the mustache, the diamond cuff links, the lambo, or the exotic Asian robe aren’t pulling their weight, the Centurion Card is there for you, Manther, like catnip for your little kittens.

(Illustration of Roman Centurion, circa 100 b.c.)

The term “Centurion” dates back to the Marian Reforms of 107 b.c. and comes from the Latin word “Centurio”. It describes a distinguished Roman military officer, who was put in charge of a century, or a group of 100 men. A man had to meet several important qualifications in order to become a Centurion – very similar to the qualities of a seasoned Manther.

First, he had to have several letters of recommendation from important people, good “connections”, if you will. These could be important senators, or even the emperor himself.  In the Manther’s case, connections like these manifest themselves by working a little name dropping anecdote into pre-dinner conversation to whet a young filly’s appetite.  He also had to be at least 30 years of age, which, with an average lifespan of less than 50 years, meant that he had to have reached a Manther-like level of maturity and saltiness. Lastly, he had to be literate – able to read written commands from superior officers. In the Manther’s case, dropping some well-timed nuggets of literacy and cultivation comes in most handy to dazzle their naive prey at swanky restaurants, like Mastro’s, and when ordering exotic hors d’hoevres like “Foie Gras With Carmelized Mangosteen.” 

Simply put, by whipping out the American Express Centurion card, the Manther unleashes the power of 100 men.  SHABBLAMMMM!!!